I work in daycare and this boy’s name is literally a crime

A daycare worker has shared a baby name she says is so bad, the girl’s grandmother won’t use it.

With a post in a Facebook group, she writes about her workplace:

“Honestly, most of the kids had pretty normal names,” but then notices a name that is literally and metaphorically a crime.

“Was mom happy? Breaking Bad?”

The guardian explains: “Grandma called her by her middle name, because the baby’s legal first name is … Phelonie.”

Felony … emphatic FELONY.

We’d love to know what the inspiration was. Her father’s name was FELON and they just added a Y to make it a fat girl?

Was the mom binge-watching Breaking Bad in her last trimester?

Were Parents Inspired by the 2024 Republican Presidential Candidate?

We’ll never know, which is a shame.

In any case, the name is obviously very problematic for a number of reasons, as commenters on the post gleefully noted.

“Why would you do this to your child?”

The overwhelming sense from the comments on the post was … utter confusion.

One read, “Why would you do this to your child?”, which sums up the whole situation.

In general, people were concerned about her passport and the birth certificate that bore her name, her school registration, and anything she ever did for a living.

My concern is what her nickname will be and I pray that no first graders think of ‘Phallic Phelonie’. Because that st will stay.

But the story gets better.

One teacher actually claimed that she also had a student with that name.

“When I was in bed I had a Phelony,” she commented on the post.

“I spelled it wrong on purpose because I couldn’t imagine anyone calling their child their crime. The whole class corrected my pronunciation. I felt so bad for the adorable little girl.”

So it looks like Phelonie may have given up on Phelony, which sounds about right.

Mum calls her son the most Australian name

We’d even go so far as to say that Phelonie makes other hilarious/terrifying baby names look sweet by comparison.

A couple of years ago, an Australian mother wanted to give her baby a strong male name – so she came up with Holden Commodore.

Mum Isabella Veronica Hayes posted the clip in response to a call for people to have “child naming regret”.

However, Isabella took the opportunity to tell her followers that she has no regrets about the baby’s name, even though the approach she took with her son was unconventional.

“My son’s name is Holden Commodore,” she began in a since-deleted clip.

“We originally wanted to call it Commodore, but that’s illegal in Australia.” (FYI, it’s a banned name because Commodore in this country refers to a very high ranking Navy official.)

“So we called it the Holden Commodore. It will be done soon and I don’t regret it at all.

“People will start copying me.”

Indeed, they may have … but we’re not sure the same can be said for Phelonie.